Territorial Mercenaries discography

Over the weekend I came across the recorded musical output of my first band: the Territorial Mercenaries. The Mercenaries consisted of me and my friend Simon. I played the keyboard (and Spectrum loading sequence, etc.) and cobbled together the music;  Simon did the singing and wrote the lyrics. We took our inspiration from a number of sources, in particular an Island Records compilation tape and a Public Enemy song that someone was playing in a school lunchtime revision session that sounded like someone torturing a donkey (hence all the Dobbin/donkey references). It was all recorded on a tape to tape player, using ancient microphones that were sellotaped to the speakers of the keyboard so they didn’t jump and bang. The earlier ones used all manner of sophisticated layering using the tape to tape player’s full potential, but these songs ended up being nothing but 90% hiss, which is probably merciful to be honest. Later songs were generally done in one take.

Below is our discography, including Simon’s cover art. Technically speaking, it is not a discography as these recordings only exist on cassette (and I no longer have a player). There is also in existence an additional compilation I made for a over-curious university friend. He did say he was going to put it onto CD at some point. Maybe it’s best for all concerned if I don’t remind him. I’ve been meaning to put this up somewhere on the web since about 1996 when making lists of bands’ output on the web was the thing to do (those were the days when I made a few HTML lists and had arguably one of the best Radiohead sites on the web).*


In Bed with Dobbin (1992)

In Bed with DobbinSide A

  1. Indeedy
  2. Chinese Water Torture
  3. Viel Vergenugen
  4. Locomotion (Twin Peaks Karoake Mix)
  5. Sit
  6. Spot the Song

Side B

  1. Full Woolen Cardigan
  2. Full Woolen Cardigan (Reprise)
  3. Famous Ladies
  4. 1812 Underture
  5. Toxin in Loco Parentis
  6. The Last Political Waltz
  7. The Krypto Factor
  8. In Bed with Dobbin

Donkey Mafia Records DM1 (1992)

Dobbin sans Frontiers

Dobbin sans FrontiersSide I

  1. Epilogue
  2. Dobbin sans Frontiers
  3. Entice the Judicature with Dough
  4. Dobbin to Q4
  5. The One to Blame
  6. Nightmare
  7. Pump up the Aussie
  8. Stop the Snog?

Side II

  1. Tipping the Balance of the Scales
  2. Over Rated Stoat
  3. Shakepeare’s Second Cousin
  4. Norma Major
  5. Jive Dobbin
  6. Beeline for the Grave
  7. The American Dream
  8. Prologue

Donkey Mafia Records DM2 (1992)


Dobbin Is Dead

Dobbin is Dead1

  • Dobbin is Dead


  • Indeedy (No Song Swansong Remix)

Donkey Mafia Records DM2 1/2  (1992)

Indeedy (No Song Swansong Remix)

Full sleeve notes explaining the works would doubtless be beneficial although unwanted. As a taster, Indeedy is a reference to a maths teacher’s catchphrase. Full Woolen Cardigan is a Cagean concrete poetry-style piece using a knitting pattern. Dobbin to Q4 is a follow up to the latter with obvious chess inspiration. Chinese Water Torture is roughly what you would expect…

If you would like to hear any of this, you will need a means of converting cassette to CD, and an awful lot of persuasion.

* At my first successful library job interview in 1997 (I’m still here) I was asked something like whether I thought the web was any good for academia. I said no, as it was just full of things like band websites. LOL.