Aurlog

Thoughts on the Eurovision 2007 final

See, I said Serbia would win. It was a strongish song and right in the middle of a voting bloc. The entry from the Ukraine- the favourites before the final- was bonkers and entertaining but not good. Novelty will not, however, win on its own: Lordi were novel- both in the sense of having silly costumes and in terms of genre- but they also had a good song. Moreover, they benefited from both Scandinavian and Baltic votes. Anyway, the Serbian entry was so-so in my opinion, my main thoughts being for the poor singer, who seemed to be suffering from constipation at several points, with a red face reminiscent of the expression and hue that babies pull when they are about to fill their nappy. I got really quite worried when she won and had to sing it again. Maybe she should try singing the theme to the OC.

Overall, I thought the quality was high, without there being many exceptional ones. Marking out of five, I only gave two fours: one to Belarus (see previous posts), and one to the UK, partly because once you've heard a song a lot, it grows on you, partly because it was the UK entry, but mainly for the innuendo (would you like anything to suck on sir? and all that business with the exits and inserting seatbelts). Their performance was not great on the night- they seemed nervous and lost in the big set- and much of it was lost. While we're on the subject, it was a bad song, but it wasn't that bad that it deserved to get almost nul points, which is a pity. Again, we return to the bloc voting, which means that the UK will probably never win again, although even with bloc voting, you still need a strong song and we haven't had one in years.

Among other entries, Russia should just have left fliers in Helsinki telephone booths, Finland thought metal would do although a bad Evanescence-style song was not strong enough, France had a very catchy song and cracking routine which wasn't too wierd; and Sweden were also almost normal and weren't too bad. A couple of noteworthy entries were Germany who went for swing, Hungary who went for blues, and Romania who went for what was essentially a multilingual cabaret act which tried, a bit like the UK entry's many flags, to appeal to lots of nations. All three rubbish.

However, the very worst, to my mind, were Ireland, Turkey, and Armenia. Ireland's entry was just cod-Irish crap, which deserved to come last. One of the funnier moments of the evening was Ireland dumping themselves in last place by giving the UK 7 points. Turkey's song was just a stereotypical Turkish entry, which was catchy in the way Turkish entries are. I can't believe the UK gave it 12 points: I can only think it was because Terry Wogan kept mentioning that the belly dancers were actually British and that the British public thought we might at least win something that way. Armenia's was the worst by a long way, which made it astonishing how it did so well. Dull was the wrong word for it and I can only imagine that bloc voting lifted it a little this time.

The big question is with bloc voting and how can the UK (or Spain, France, Germany, etc.) ever win again? I think the problem is not a myth anymore and is a serious* problem, going way beyond the traditional Cyprus/Greece mutual 12 points and the Scandinavian friendship society. The Eastern countries did it comprehensively and rigorously, there being so many other neighbouring countries that there weren't many slots left for musical votes; other blocs, such as Scandinavia, also seem so much more solid now. It was so easy to predict some of the scores, even in non-traditional areas, such as Turkey's 12 points from Germany. The Big Four's privilege of not qualifying now looks more like a sop. The semi-final saw no Western European countries go through, even the much favoured (although very pants) Switzerland. Some solutions:

Roll on next year!

*As much as Eurovision can ever be serious.

PRID. ID. MAI. MMVII

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Eurovision 2007 final

My thoughts before the voting starts:

Where oh where are Israel?

A.D. IV ID. MAI. MMVII

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The influence of Lordi

Watching the Eurovision 2007 semi-final, the influence of Lordi, last year's winner, is clear. No one dressed up as monsters or dabbled in the dark side (bar Switzerland perhaps, although they smiled too much), there are:

There were a couple of other curious themes: fans (as in paper and feather fans for dancing with), opera, and the that thing where people stand behind eachother and wave their arms (or fans) in such a manner that it looks as though the front person has lots of arms. That kind of thing.

My thoughts so far are Israel to win for audacious wierdness, catchiness, alleged political controversy, and the singer's attempt at auto-dj'ing. Ace. I would like to see the four guitars of Iceland go through in the hope that they'll add some more in the final. Finally, the Belarussian dance routine was easily the best.

Update: Belarus through: Yay; FYR Macedonia, so so classic Eurovision; Slovenia, "opera wierdness" my notes say; Hungary, not bad bluesy thing; Georgia, swordsmen, can't remember the song; Latvia, more opera: the Il Divo nonsense; Serbia, like, whatever; Bulgaria, bizarre drumming thing, only a drumkit though a humdinger of a drumkit; Turkey, a Turkish song [one place left and still no Israel!]; Moldova: I can't even remember it and made no notes about it. No Denmark (poor version of Dana International), Israel, nor Switzerland (one of the favourites). Ah well.

A.D. VI ID. MAI. MMVII

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Making Your Mind Up

Oh dear, we're not going to win Eurovision again. Of course, given the geopolitical situation and all that, we're probably not going to win for years anyway: the Finns were particularly blessed last year in straddling the Scandinavian and East European blocs. However, what I mean is that we've chosen the wrong song again. The sub-Steps cabin-crew-themed slightly-pretending-to-be-Bucks-Fizz campness of Scooch might have done passably well five years ago but is essentially an updated but still out of date boom-bang-a-bang entry. Look what won last year. Look at Dana International even. Politics aside, it isn't simply novelty that wins Eurovision any more; it's that something Xtra (LOL), and Flying the Flag (for You) doesn't have it.

On the bright side, it wasn't (though nearly was) Cyndi, who sang a faintly Celtic (i.e. Irish-sounding) dull ballad. She is actually French and said in an interview that nationality doesn't matter at Eurovision. I think you'll find it does, otherwise it would be an individual competition and not nearly so much fun. The national element of Eurovision is part of Europe's safety valve that helps the nations of Europe from engaging in world wars when they get bored. This is why it is important to keep the Middle Eastern countries involved (although Israel are seemingly sailing close to the wind this year). Maybe we should get Iran, Iraq, and the US involved, although I can't imagine what the Americans would come up with: I suppose it would give Britney Spears something to do when the kids have gone to school.

You can listen to the other entries on the BBC website. The only reason to vote for Brian Harvey was pity. My hopes were with Hawkins and Brown who I thought might bring some of the absurd metallish spirit of Lordi with them, but which was merely high-pitched and disappointing. By far the best act in my opinion was, not typically for me and despite the spelling of their name, Big Brovaz. It still wouldn't have won, but it would have picked up points for having at least some quality, which Scooch just doesn't. Scooch just aims to entertain. Fair enough, Lordi did that, but their song was good too: it even had a good tune as well and was entertaining even if you were blind.

That said, I really do hope Scooch win. Although a good song is important if someone else wins, it matters nought if we win.

A.D. XIV KAL. APR. MMVII

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Tom