Oh dear, we’re not going to win Eurovision again. Of course, given the geopolitical situation and all that, we’re probably not going to win for years anyway: the Finns were particularly blessed last year in straddling the Scandinavian and East European blocs. However, what I mean is that we’ve chosen the wrong song again. The sub-Steps cabin-crew-themed slightly-pretending-to-be-Bucks-Fizz campness of Scooch might have done passably well five years ago but is essentially an updated but still out of date boom-bang-a-bang entry. Look what won last year. Look at Dana International even. Politics aside, it isn’t simply novelty that wins Eurovision any more; it’s that something Xtra (LOL), and Flying the Flag (for You) doesn’t have it.
On the bright side, it wasn’t (though nearly was) Cyndi, who sang a faintly Celtic (i.e. Irish-sounding) dull ballad. She is actually French and said in an interview that nationality doesn’t matter at Eurovision. I think you’ll find it does, otherwise it would be an individual competition and not nearly so much fun. The national element of Eurovision is part of Europe’s safety valve that helps the nations of Europe from engaging in world wars when they get bored. This is why it is important to keep the Middle Eastern countries involved (although Israel are seemingly sailing close to the wind this year). Maybe we should get Iran, Iraq, and the US involved, although I can’t imagine what the Americans would come up with: I suppose it would give Britney Spears something to do when the kids have gone to school.
You can listen to the other entries on the BBC website. The only reason to vote for Brian Harvey was pity. My hopes were with Hawkins and Brown who I thought might bring some of the absurd metallish spirit of Lordi with them, but which was merely high-pitched and disappointing. By far the best act in my opinion was, not typically for me and despite the spelling of their name, Big Brovaz. It still wouldn’t have won, but it would have picked up points for having at least some quality, which Scooch just doesn’t. Scooch just aims to entertain. Fair enough, Lordi did that, but their song was good too: it even had a good tune as well and was entertaining even if you were blind.
That said, I really do hope Scooch win. Although a good song is important if someone else wins, it matters nought if we win.