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Da Vinci Code condensed film

Those of you who enjoyed my Drown Ban, Not Chav deicide, or The Mongo code or Ward Bonn's Digital Citadel may also like to read Scaryduck's Condensed Films: The Da Vinci Code. Excerpt:

A. Tatou: Listen very carefully I will say zis only once. Les Cops r stitching u up for ze murder of my grandfather.
T. Hanks: ONOZ!
A. Tatou: Also, he has 'ad you bugged. With a bug. FFS.
T. Hanks: ONOZ! Luckily, I have thrown teh bug out of teh window, so Les Cops think I have escaped. Now to spend several hours wondering around a murder scene surrounded by Europe's most expensive art works, where there appears to be no security whatsoever.

More on the condensed films here.

KAL. AUG. MMVII

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Condensed films

In lieu of any original content: Last week, Scaryduck did a series of condensed films: we take popular movies, boil them down, and deliver them here in easy-to-understand chunks. These were ace and I recommend reading them. My favourite was Jaws, which included the following excerpt:

Naked drunk girl: Swimmy swim OMFG!

Shark: Om nom nom nom burp LOLZ

Featured films were:

• Jaws
• Casino Royale (the which book I have just read, making it the first and only time I have read or will ever read a Bond book before watching the film (I'm not counting the David Niven version))
• Pretty Woman
• Star Wars
• 300 which was my favourite (although again I haven't seen the film although I've seen the old film and read about it) until I read Jaws:

  Ephialtes: I am a Spartan, although hideously deformed. Can I join yr army, plz?
  
  Leondias: FFS, no. We do not have an inclusive disability policy. Also: I don't fancy you.
  
  Ephialtes: Then I shall be off to betray you to Xerxes and have lots of depraved hunchback sex

Also of note is Scaryduck's neat pictorial summary of the Christian religion in l33tspeak which you can see at the head of his post On religion:

Jesus: BRB!

Disciples: LOL!

The post goes on to describe Christ's reaction at the Second Coming to the church's activities over the last 2000 years. Please go and read it before I quote any more.

I hereby claim the OBN.

A.D. VIII ID. IUN. MMVII

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Tom